Dudes, babes, welcome in the caphazar's palace–

I need  to stop drinking… I did drink like, 5 times in  8 days, its way too much, my body feels like it’s dying. Also, my mood is in a pretty bad state now. God. Sorry my friends, but i’ll not coming to your party for a week. And then, i’ll be the sober one. Need it for a while.

posted 14 hours ago

alopexplasma:

beamkatanachronicles:

+1 YAOI WALL PIN
someone should make yaoi bingo cards seriously

okay

alopexplasma:

beamkatanachronicles:

+1 YAOI WALL PIN

someone should make yaoi bingo cards seriously

okay

image


donaldsterlingsshriveledpenis:

You know how many times I’ve called my mom a bitch or a hoe in my life?

Not one goddamn time what the fuck is wrong with these kids


revoltechs:

nature is amazing

revoltechs:

nature is amazing

posted 4 days ago via shinzhon · © koyohmi with 64,699 notes

Anecdotes by medical practitioners

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”

Reddit thread 


"T’as les os du cul pointus."
— Old french proverb said between friends (via kura06)
posted 4 days ago via shinzhon · © kura06 with 241 notes
#me2

baracliffords:

lmao people mock fanfiction but when u think about it some people manage to create novel-length stories that are extremely well written without getting paid and they do it on top of school and work and everything else in their lives just because they love to write and they love the original story or the people they write about like im pretty sure that’s more productive than being the person who is just sat there laughing at it all


Dumb stuff.

posted 5 days ago with 2 notes

helioscentrifuge:

asgardreid:

sextronautt:

we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.

image


thegameisalife:

Frozen x Pokémon “Let it Poke!”

posted 5 days ago via macarousse · © reddit.com with 577 notes

I was always doubtful when it was about my father and how i was supposed to react toward him, and… I just understand now that i didn’t care.
I could be mad at him, i’m not. He did the best he could do, and even of it’s actually nothing, he did.
I could be sad, i’m not. I can’t cry because of something missing, when it’s missing for fifteen years now.
I could be just distant, like my oldest young bro is, but no, i’m not. I can’t erase him because he is not there. He’s still the one that loved my mother once. He’s still my father.

But i guess…. I just don’t care anymore. If i have to see, well, i will. If i have to answer to his call, i will. If i don’t have to, i will not. That’s it. Being completly passive toward him. Because i just don’t love him, but he will always be my genitor.

I’m neutral, when i should be all loving and happy. Kind of sad. Guess it’s the price for having such a wonderful mother. Having a shitty dad.

posted 6 days ago

agentsofthenterprise:

so how about a movie starring Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt directed by Christopher Nolan naturally titled The Crisis 

#yes

macarousse:

I felt pretty and took a selfie. 

macarousse:

I felt pretty and took a selfie. 

posted 1 week ago via macarousse with 26 notes

thesassylorax:

theunithasasoul:

amazingavengers:

beifag:

k1mkardashian:

girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket 

having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry

none of you can do it discreetly anyways

we see you

everyone sees you


mbti actual names

gardevorite:

ESTP: the popular kid

ESTJ: the stereotypical dad

ENTP: the person who never takes things seriously

ENTJ: the tyrant; probably the villain in books

ESFP: the louder anime main character; probably gets bad grades

ESFJ: the stereotypical mom

ENFP: the manic pixie dream girl

ENFJ: the life changing person you never see again

ISTP: the person who’s likely to be on a sports team; also a nerd

ISTJ: the studious nerd

INTP: the leader of all nerds

INTJ: the other studious nerd but competitive probably

ISFP: the girl who always doodles on her papers

INFP: the really religious person

ISFJ: the cool badass mom

INFJ: the quieter anime main character