I didn’t suspect anything for the six first years of my life.
First thing I started noticing was how people wouldn’t stop speaking french around me like it was the only language they knew… Why would they do this? Did they want to sound sophisticated or something?? It pissed me off so much. And there was this croissant thing too!! I just kept on seeing them everywhere like it was normal breakfast food???
But I remember the day I really freaked out and realised what I was. It was on a sunday. When I woke up in the morning earlier than usual because I heard my dad coming home. He likes going for walks in the early morning. That’s his thing. What a weirdo. So, I went out of my room and proceeded to ask him where he’d been.
And he looked at me. He looked at me and -I KID YOU NOT- he just told me he’d went out to buy a baguette for breakfast. A baguette. Here he was, the holy procreator of nerds, a baguette under one arm, a smile on his face. Like he was fucking proud of himself or something. He couldn’t see what he’d done.
Suddenly everything made sense in my head. The blue, white and red flag I was seeing everywhere. The general grumpiness of everyone. The huge metal tower that looked a lot like the Eiffel Tower I kept on seeing on postcards in shops. The complaining. The obsession with wine. The weird smelly cheeses.
"Dad" I said in a shaky voice "are you… are we…"
How no one managed to speak english properly. How my grandparents had once eaten snails in front of me. The awful dubbing of the tv shows. The azerty keyboards. The crême brûlée.
"Are we french?" I asked, tears in my eyes.
He could have denied it. He could have changed the subject. He could have laughed and maybe -maybe- everything would have just gone back to normal.
"Am I french?" I said again.
He could have lied. But he didn’t. He answered in a slow, deep voice :
OH MY FUCKING GOD IF YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT EVER GO HOME
PETITION TO HAVE A MOVIE MADE OUT OF THIS STORY.
totally not crying
THIS IS FUCKING ADORABLE
Kid gets a banana as a prank gift from his parents on his birthday. Look at his excitement. This kid is my hero.
I am happy right now.
I am 5’6” or taller.
I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I like to read books for fun.
I like horror films.
I like science fiction films.
I like romance films.
I have been in a car accident.
I believe in ghosts.
I like Nicholas Sparks novels.
I believe in reincarnation.
I have had my wisdom teeth pulled.
I pray on a regular basis.
I have a bible.
I read the bible.
I have been to another continent.
I have a crush on one of my friends.
I am not a virgin.
I have lived in the same house my entire life.
I like talking on the phone.
I have read comic books.
I collect something.
I have done drugs before.
I have smoked before.
I have gotten drunk before.
My parents are still together.
I have written a song before.
I think I can sing well.
I have blonde hair.
I have brown hair or black hair.
I have red hair
I have unnatural coloured hair.
I have freckles.
I have stretch marks.
I am straight.
I am gay.
I am neither or somewhere in between.
I have been in a fist fight before.
I have performed something in front of 20 people or more.
I have self harmed.
I have attempted suicide.
I have been abused by a relationship partner.
I have been abused by a family member.
I have run away from home.
I have self harmed for more than four years.
I like to cook food.
I like to bake food.
I have a dog.
I enjoy camping.
I can fit my hand inside a Pringles can.
I have changed for someone else.
I like to read fanfiction.
I like to write fanfiction.
I have used a typewriter before.
I have skiied before.
There is someone I’ve had a crush on for more than four months.
I have talked to that person today.
I live on my own.
I prefer texting over calling.
I talked to my dad today.
I’m keeping a secret from someone I care about a lot.
I like to sing in the car.
I hum a lot.
I had a bully in school.
I was a girl/boy scout.
I am Batman.
I’ve stolen from my parents before.
I’ve stolen from a store before.
I have a favourite piece of classical music.
Chinese food is my favourite.
I have a favourite ninja turtle.
Ned, Spain and the Wall-
"nathan is a poopyhead"
Last Person That
1. Slept in your bed besides you? — A. Friend.
2. Saw you cry? — Like. Too many people. Last time someone saw me cry, it was at work. So basically 6-7 people.
3. You went to the movies with? — My flatmate!
4. You went out to dinner with? — Er, a friend if i’m not wrong.
5. You talked on the phone to? — My mom ! It was her birthday yersterday.
6. Made you laugh? — My flatmate :p
Would You Rather
1. Pierce your nose or your tongue? — Uuuh, none, really…..
2. Be serious or be funny? — Serious !
3. Drink whole or skimmed milk? — Semi!
4. Die in a fire or drowning? — Dunno. Both look hurtful….
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies? — My mom !
1. Simple or complicated? — Complicated. Not on purpose.
2. Straight, gay or bisexual? — I’m “i-don’t-care-sexual”. Which is basically like bi, but you just don’t care.
3. Tall or short? — Tall !
4. Right handed or left handed? — Right handed !
5. A lover of music or a lover of books? — Both !
Do You Prefer
1. Flowers or sweets? — Sweets.
2. Grey or black? — Black
3. Colour photos or black-and-white photos? — Both !
4. Sunrise or sunset? — Both !
5. M&Ms or Skittles? —Skittles ;P
6. Staying up late or waking up early? — l like both… :(
7. Sun or moon? — er….
8. Winter or Autumn? — Both !
9. 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? — 2 best friends ;D
10. Rainy or sunny? — Both. At the time. Epicness.
11. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? — Vanilla !
12. Vodka or Jack? — Vodka !
1. What time is it? — 1 am.
2. Name? — Jodie
3. Nicknames? — Jo, or God.
4. When is your birthday? — May 4th.
5. What do you want? — To be happy.
6. How many kids do you want? — One.
7. What would you name a girl? — Sarah, Hannah…
8. What would you name a boy? — Jeremiah, Noah…
9. You want to get married? — Not really…
10. What kind of music do you like? — Too much.
1. Nervous habits? — Biting my fingers or my cheeks.
2. Are you double-jointed? — I don’t think so !
3. Can you roll your tongue? — Not really..
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? — Yes !
5. Can you cross your eyes? — No…
1. Which shoe goes on first? — I never thought of that…
2. Ever thrown something at someone? — Yes. At my brother. A full plate. It was fun.
3. On average, how much money do you carry with you? — None. I only use my card.
4. What jewellery do you wear? — Depending of my mind.
5. Do you twirl or cut spaghetti? —Twirl !
6. Have you ever eaten Spam? — What is that…?
7. Favourite ice cream? —Don’t have any :(
8. How many kinds of cereal are in your cupboard? — None…
9. Can you cook? — Only simple things.
1. Alcoholic beverage? — Beer !
2. Car ride? — Two days ago !
3. Movie seen? – Gardians of the galaxy
4. Song played? — I don’t know…
5. Person you saw? — My flatmate :)
6. Time you cried?- Last week. Movies don’t count. >I
7. Fight? – Physical ?Years ago. Verbal ? A week i guess.
"ew fast food, do you even know what they put in fast food-"
IT’S ALWAYS TEA TIME!
identical twins have so much power tbh last year my lab partner steve came in with pierced ears and everyone was like whoa steve when did u get them pierced and he was like i’ve had them for 3 years. i’m not steve. and he just sat down and started taking notes. the next day steve came in and was like did u guys see my brother jake yesterday lmao we switched schools
it’s like a Thelma&Louise AU with Kenny and Butters ?? Except it’s not as dramatic and I just wanted them to do a road trip togetheeerr, like Butters is stuck in an unhappy relationship with his husband/wife (why not Cartman) and Kenny’s like “let’s go camping just both of us, fuck your husband” and they do and it’s the best week-end of their life.
have I talked about how my two cats love each other so much and they literally do everything together and they’re always piled all over each other like
even when they’re not sleeping they’re just hanging out
shut the fuck up and look at these fucking cats holy fucking hell shitfuck holy fuck